When She Said THIS, I Was Shocked (True Story!)

Life is a constant set of lessons, no?
And for me, when the book went on pre-sale it was being called to a whole new level of learning, of witnessing, of deepening, than I can explain.

Debriefing with a client / friend / fellow human playing this game of life…..
She said to me something that I realized was probably the most transformative (in life, relationships and business) changing breakthrough.

“Melissa, you are someone that doesn’t need validation….”

Thinking back to the girl who was 4-year class president, captain of her Teams, worked at the coffee shop, Homecoming Queen……

To scholarship D1 athlete, captain, class “Humanitarian Award” Winner (I was literally voted the most giving athlete in the whole department 😂standing next to MVP of the department who went on to play for the NBA….. but that’s another story….)

Safe to say, I spent a lot of my life doing the things I “should” to feel validated.
Which was exhausting…. can you relate?

When Leyden died, I learned to completely let go of the word “should”.
Because she “shouldn’t have” died.
Reality is, she did.

That learned detachment to outcome, to validation, to forcing a result not only created so much freedom in my headspace and in my schedule- it deepened my relationships, amplified my business and most importantly- 100x’d my gratitude.

Because if nothing is because it “should be” then it’s a gift that might be a day, a week, a year or longer…. But nothing is guaranteed, so where can we be grateful for that.

The transformation to I am not seeking validation…..
I am here to share value…..
And be valued……

Changed the game.

Because when you lead from that lens- how am I sharing value? And how am I being valued? It’s never about right or wrong- just alignment.

That client who can’t make the investment you value your services at- no problem, but no forcing because holding the space for the one who can, is an act of self-worth.
Trusting that the one who cannot invest will find the place that CAN meet their needs, is an act of humility, allowance and honor.

Let this translate to all aspects of your life, and watch how it changes.

Valued > Validated.
Notice one is in empowerment and one is in need.

In love and gratitude,
Melissa

PS- these emails are just a sample of what we jam on in Scar Tissue,
which is so far beyond a book about grief… it’s about reclaiming your LIFE.
Grab your pre-sale copy here (so honored to share!)
www.speakingofmelissa.com
(click “Scar TIssue” up top- I sent ya to my NEW homepage 🙂 -
how TALENTED is my Team tho?!?!)