6 Lessons Grief Taught Me About Business That Made Me A Better Entrepreneur
I often speak about the “unwanted lessons” or opportunities. Something that most people reading this can relate to. Likely just reading that triggered a thought of a difficult lesson learned, in a challenging or painful situation.
For me, it was the loss of my daughter, Leyden. After spending 99 nights in Boston Children’s Hospital, my daughter took her last breath in my arms. Her case was termed a “catastrophe”. And my world was shattered.
What I found was that there is no evading the pain or the grief. Grief is one of the most universal experiences we all confront throughout our lives. So I sought to find the opportunities within it. I thought, if my daughter can’t be here (I cannot change that), what can I learn from this? For me, it was a way to honor her life and legacy to extend beyond her time here. For you, I hope this means supporting you, in your own life and journey of grief or entrepreneurship.
6 Lessons From Grief That Made Me A Better Entrepreneur:
We don’t need to feel good all the time. And we don’t need to feel “good” OR “bad”; we can feel pain and gratitude, love and loss, all simultaneously. Replace the word “or” with “and” to create more space for differing emotional experiences. Entrepreneurship will test you and take you out at times (just like grief).
There is an element of radical responsibility in grief and business. This is hard when grief naturally lends itself to a victim or pained energy. I was fully in my right to be a victim to my daughter’s case, which was termed a catastrophe. But not choosing that, and rather to take massive ownership for my healing, changed my life. When we apply this to business, and take radical responsibility for the growth and development of what we are creating- with a clear roadmap, systems, data, KPIs and consistent commitment, our businesses will inevitably grow.
Not everyone will get it, and that's ok. Let go of the expectation of people to show up in a certain way, respond a certain way or support a certain way. When we truly release expectations like this, it’s freeing. Understand how each person contributes, or does not, to your path forward, and instead of making anyone wrong, focus energy on what continues to propel you.
We are entitled to nothing and worthy of everything. I will never forget the moment when I realized I was operating as if I were entitled to a healthy child. Oof. This was life-changing. I thought to myself, “Melissa, you aren’t entitled to anything. You can want a healthy child, grieve the loss of your child and feel the pain of it…. But you are not entitled to anything.” Which reminds me in business, day after day, I am not entitled to anything, but rather have the opportunity to create it.
Time doesn’t heal. Time simply gives us the opportunity to choose into healing. Time will not grow your business. Time will simply give you the space to choose into growing it. Which will require doing things differently, trial and error, strategizing, getting creative and using that space (time) effectively. Those that get the best results are the best at using time effectively- working smarter, not just harder.
You aren’t meant to do it alone. While both grief and entrepreneurship are individual journeys, you are not meant to do it alone. There is a difference in relying on others to heal you or run the business and allowing the support to fuel and expand you. Choose the latter and remember that it is not a sign of weakness to have a Team or support. Rather it is a gift for the people who are a part of your journey while also allowing you to heal (or grow your business), more quickly.
Bonus: You got this. Keep going.
